She's the right woman, in the wrong place, at the wrong time... again!
Quick Blast Review:
Sharon Bell (Shannon Tweed), an action movie starlet has gone to visit her sister Bobbi at the art gallery she curates, along with her Director Jack Terry (Bruce Payne) in order to convince her into allowing a scene in her film to be shot there. Eric Dane (Lance Henriksen) happens to be conducting business at the gallery regarding a recovered statue from Nazi Germany. Suddenly terrorists shoot up the joint and Eric Dane reveals himself to be Eric Dengler - he revealed it in a way that seemed to indicate I should have know who that was; perhaps somebody from the first film which I've not seen - and hostages are taken. Eric is after a biological weapon hidden within the Nazi statue, with which he could sell for vast sums of cash. Just as John McClane was in Die Hard, Sharon Bell happened to be elsewhere in the building when the action kicked off. Thus begins Sharon needing to quickly change from action star to action hero, save the hostages and dispatch the bad guys.
This was actually pretty odd. The time passed super-quick (I looked at the clock once to find myself an hour in), the action was there... but the characters just weren't likeable. Lance was technically great as the maniac, but he was too sadistic for the rest of the film. I mean, we have a film that starts with an old switcheroo scene of Shannon doing her action movie scene on set making us, the audience, think this is what we are getting the whole movie... and then we end up making tear gas from paint tins for weapons, but then also a scene where Dane/Dengler forces hostages to act Shakespeare and get shot repeatedly for doing it badly. I dunno, it just didn't seem to gel for me. It's a little like crossing Last Action Hero with Die Hard and a sadistic Korean revenge-thriller.
It's interesting to see Shannon Tweed in this kind of role; an action film star who has to play for real. I get what she was doing, trying to make it look like many of her kicks and punches were 'dumb luck', and genuinely looking frightened and cowering in certain scenarios. I guess that's just not what I wanted. I was hoping for another Cynthia Rothrock - somebody who was well versed, well grounded and knew precisely what they were doing in the action department. Tweed's character was the equivalent of somebody performing CPR based on what they saw on TV. Bruce Payne was interesting playing a good guy, as I best know him as the terrorist from Passenger 57.
This was a case of most things being in the right spot - the machine guns rarely stopped firing - but the characters were either incompatible with the movie or just unlikeable, so I'm not entirely sure I'd recommend it. It's quite hard to nail down, but I guess I just watched the whole thing with a slightly confused look on my face. Maybe I'd enjoy it more the second time round?
The Final Fifteen:
With all the henchmen disposed of, but Sharon, Shannon and Bruce all trapped in the building together, they agree to a cease-fire in order to all get out of the locked building. After some double and triple crossing, Eric Dengler ends up locked in a glass chamber with the biological weapon which goes off and melts him, slowly.
Sourced From:
Literally pulled out of a two dollar bin after decent rummage, the old Hollywood R4 DVD presents the picture in an average fullscreen presentation that looks like it was sourced from a suspect master. It gets the job done but it's not the best. Runtime 86 minutes.
The perfect weapon is now the ultimate killing machine.
Back of DVD:
It's been thirteen years since the robotic killing machines known as Screamers destroyed the human population of Sirius 6B. But now a distress signal brings a team of rescuers to the supposedly abandoned planet. Can it be a long lost colony of human survivors? Or have the Screamers evolved into something even more sinister... half-man/half-machine hybrids that need to escape Sirius 6B to finish their mission: the complete annihilation of the human race?
Movie Review:
This movie got a bit of a panning when it came out, but low budget sequels to moderate or high budget movies always get that, especially horror and science fiction ones. Add on to that the fact we are talking about a plot 'inspired' by a Phillip K. Dick short story and of course the sci-fi nerds are out for blood. Me? I'm here for a good time at the movies and hopefully get some explosions while we are at it. And anything with Lance Henriksen in it can't be that bad.
After a small set-up on the planet from the first movie (the one with Peter Weller), we are taken slowly through the empty corridors of a space ship (very Alien). A hot girl (Gina Holden) awakens from a nightmare and proceeds to her medical check for all awakening from cryo-sleep. After some witty banter to establish the hierarchy of the players, all assemble on the main deck to watch a video mission briefing. There was a war on planet Sirius 6B that led to one side creating the Screamers: robots that kill all human life unless you are wearing an electronic tag. However there has been no communication with planet Sirius 6B to Earth for some time, so the team's objective is to locate survivors and bring them home. To add a timeline to the proceedings, the planet will be destroyed by a storm in six days. The government waited 13 years to send a team to the planet, now they have six days to perform a search and rescue and get the hell out of there. That's bureaucracy for you.
On their first day on the planet, the team of mercenaries/rescuers scan an underground structure and locate a bunker. Unknown to them, they are being watched in the distance by a dude in a makeshift gas mask. When they enter the bunker it's soon apparent they have located the original Screamers construction facility. There are also piles of skeletons, apparently used as spare parts as the war drew on. The team decide to camp in the bunker for the night, but one of the members - a scientist - wakes up and quietly goes to play with one of the dormant Screamer-bots. This of course wakes up the entire warehouse of Screamers, though only we the viewer realise this yet. This, like most sci-fi movies, leads me to the conclusion that scientists are out to destroy us all. Meanwhile the one guy left on the ship to guard it hears a noise and tries to find the source at the top of a ladder. He climbs half way and quickly gets ripped to shreds in an orgy of stock sci-fi slicing sound effects.
When the team awaken the next day they locate an old mine and proceed to get shot at from the verandah. "We're from Earth, here to help you!" they shout. "Screw you!" is the received response. Obviously these people don't want to leave so forget it, mission scrubbed let's go home. Never that easy though as the team get attacked by Screamers on the way back, one guy loses his tag so the token tough guy gives him his, then of course gets his leg chewed off. In a "get back to the chopper!" moment, the guy blows himself up, taking the screamers with him. Back on the ship the rest of the team discover the gory remains of the guy left behind, but worse still, that the Screamer on board has drained the ships power supply. No-one is going anywhere so it's decided that they will return to the people of the mine and try and get some power cells from them.
There's a really stupid part coming up here. After being allowed through the protective walls of the mine and meeting all the survivors (there's only a handful), the team go for a walk and find three teenagers being hung on a wall in chains. The kids convince the team that they are being experimented on and should be released. On a planet full of Screamer-robots, I'd be reluctant to believe what anybody says, but the team decide to release the kids. Of course they are friggen Scanner/human hybrid and proceed to tear the crew apart with their embedded palm-saws and face-spears. One punches right through a guys chest and out his spine. Then the medic girl gets the same done to her after begging for her death to "be quick". The survivors of the rescue team and the mine residents flee to find the power station a few hills away that may have enough power cells to get them home to Earth.
The effects in the movie are half and half. After watching the behind-the-scenes featurette on the DVD I learned that many of the gore shots and the like were made with prosthetics and bags of offal. These scenes were fairly impressive and better than you would expect from a direct-to-dvd horror movie. Other parts of the movie, including the robotic Screamers and the exterior of the space ship, are all CG and are about on par with Babylon 5 or early Stargate SG-1 - that is to say, not remarkable but not disgraceful either. Better than a made for SyFy channel movie. The kills are all pretty good. Oh and Gina Holden is really good eye candy.
I haven't spoken about Lance Henriksen yet. That's because he hasn't been in it yet. That's right, this is another one of those movies where the largest star gets the smallest part. He doesn't show up until after the first hour when it's revealed that (spoilers) he is the guy in the gas mask from the beginning and he is the caretaker of the mine and creator of the Screamers. In fact I can unhappily tell you that Lance gets about six minutes of screen time and dies at the end of it. Very, very disappointing as the film makers could have done a lot with his character earlier on. He could have probably filmed his scenes during the lunch break on set of another movie. At least they didn't chuck him on the front cover and write "STARRING LANCE 'BISHOP FROM ALIENS' HENRIKSEN" in huge font below the title.
Aside from the original Screamers this movie owes it's existence to many that came before it. Aliens is an obvious first thought, and there is a bit of Starship Troopers as well, but I really saw a lot of Virus in this movie. You know, the one with Jamie Lee Curtis and Donald Sutherland in it. That movie had a similar plot; bunch of people scope out a place they are not familiar with and one by one get turned into puddles of gore by machines and machine/human hybrids. Virus was the better movie but for the low budget that this movie obviously had to play with I think the producers did a great job, and the actors aren't half bad either. Just needed more Lance. And I really like that cover.
The Video:
The video was excellent and the audio for the most part excellent as well, though at some points I felt the guy with the boom mic. could have moved in closer. Colours are sharp and vivid, and the effects look fine. A nice 16:9 enhanced print from Sony. Runtime 91 minutes.
