Deadly Prey (1987)

Tagline:

In Vietnam he was the best... HE STILL IS!

100th Review!

"We don't play games here. When we train, it's for real."

Well it took longer than I had initially hoped but we arrive here at last. Whilst the blog post count is a little higher thanks to a few special posts, this review marks the 100th macho example of action fantastic we've explored since starting this blog in May of 2010, beginning with Peter Weller's underrated Shakedown. What better movie to celebrate this milestone than the absolutely spectacular Deadly Prey? I can't think of any movie more fitting. The eagle eyed amongst you will have noticed the blog has received a minor facelift to celebrate the milestone. Also I rarely shamelessly plug my stuff, but do check out my VHS collectables Tumblr photo blog if you haven't already.

It's pretty hard to add to this awesome movie more than what the DTV Connoisseur or Comeuppance Reviews have. This is solid gold bad-action entertainment, and it's criminal that there hasn't been a DVD release for it yet. When you think of all the sub-par action movies that have received DVD treatment but solid gold such as Deadly Prey remains only available on decades old VHS tapes and the thriving bootleg DVD scene... well, it's just sad.

Basically you are getting a cheap version of Hard Target and Surviving the Game (though both of those movies were made later). A team of mercenaries have stepped up their training under the leadership of Col. John Hogan (David Campbell) to now include hunting man for sport. While putting the bins out in his fashionable denim shorts and sloppy joe ensemble, Mike Danton (Ted Prior) gets hauled off the street by some guys in a van and knocked out. When he comes to he is quickly forced to run as the prey in a deadly game of hunt to kill, with the team of aforementioned mercenaries chasing him down. However what they don't realise is that Danton was originally trained by the Colonel! The hunted has become the hunter, and all that!

"Danton? Man I haven't seen you since the time you took the bullet trying to save my life."

There is just so much to love in the movie. The hilarious denim shorts (and nothing else) outfit of Ted Prior. The bad, bad acting from everyone involved (especially Danton's girlfriend; her scene dictating a number plate to her father, Cameron Mitchell, is hysterical). The over-the-top yet badly performed violence, complete with stock footage explosions. The outfit that the one female member of the mercenaries wears. The glorious power rock guitar solos and electric drums that play throughout. Ted's mullet. Ted's one liners ("Don't kill me I just joined today!", "BAD TIMING.") The fact that the film features somebody called Colonel Hogan! It's pure gold from start to finish. Hell this is better than gold, this is platinum. This is depleted uranium sold on the black market to smugglers wearing fur coats on their own personal yachts. It's that good.

Danton spends the majority of the movie setting Rambo style traps for his pursuers or punching their equally mulleted arses to the ground. They are all great traps as well, such as jumping out of a lake and pulling the bad guy in with him, or jumping out of concealed leaves and stabbing him in the stomach. The kills are the funniest things I've ever seen. Somehow Danton manages to skewer a guy through the chest with a twig he found on the ground. That's not really that surprising once you've seen Ted's muscles. People make Chuck Norris jokes about how his beard conceals another fist. Really they should joke about Ted Prior's mullet having bigger muscles than on his arms. I also love the fact that after being in the jungle for not even one night Danton resorts to catching and eating rats. Brilliant.

"How does a man go from being the highest decorated officer in the armed forces, to becoming some GOD DAMNED BLOOD SUCKING MERCENARY?!"

When the sides have turned and his girlfriend is taken hostage, Danton goes 'one man force' on the military base and blows up helicopters with missile launchers, and runs from tanks in his stone washed jeans shorts. But none of this compares to the montage scene of preparing to launch his final assault; Danton packs his bag with enough sticks of bright red dynamite to light the whole place up for days.

David Campbell is great as Colonel Hogan. He's sidelined for most of the film but after all the mercenaries have been dispatched by Danton, we finally get the one on one that we've been hoping for. Hogan and Danton's pow-wow at the half way point ("Join me, damnit!") features some beautiful dialogue as well. Cameron Mitchel doesn't have much to do in the film but when he does show up he's brilliant, shooting some guy point blank in the face! William Zipp turns up as a mercenary who used to be buddies with Danton back during the war and eventually switches sides, joining Danton in taking out the military camp.

Now the whole movie is fantastic but if I had to pick one scene from a movie to watch on repeat for the rest of my life, it would be the death of Hogan's right hand man Lt. Thornton (Fritz Matthews). SPOILER. After executing Danton's girlfriend at point blank, Danton enraged with fury and holding a machete takes a run at Thornton - who fires four direct shots at Danton and misses - and cuts off his freaking arm. Thornton looks at the stump for what seems like eternity and then finally screams, before - wait for it - Danton beats Thornton to death with the wet end. This is the highlight of cinema. Forget your Rosebud's - this is why we make movies, right here.

"Take off your shirt before I cut you out from under it!"

Since the age of the Internet, Deadly Prey has become notorious for being a brilliant slice of bad action cinema. In fact it is so notorious you may be put off by it without seeing it. Needless to say however, this is absolutely, positively mandatory viewing for all readers of this blog, and for all fans of bad action. Five stars, two thumbs up, however you want to rate Deadly Prey is up to you - just make it happen. I could watch this film on repeat and never get bored with it. I'm living in hope that Deadly Prey receives a legitimate DVD release in the near future - after all, the David and Ted Prior horror film Sledgehammer recently got released. Maybe if everybody sent an email to Intervision we could get this ball rolling.

Thanks to everybody who reads my blog, likes the Facebook and Twitter pages, and most importantly comments on my reviews. Here's to another 100!

The Video:

Same as all other AIP films released on VHS; soft, under-saturated picture and dubious audio. Runtime approx. 90 minutes.

Sourced From:

Haven't found the VHS itself so I had to do with a bootleg on DVDR like most people. Hopefully someday soon it will get a proper DVD release.

Trailer:

Montage of the best scenes (significant spoilers):

More Screens:

Low Blow (1986)

Tagline:

When the odds are against you... Hit first, hit hard, and hit with a LOW BLOW. Man's deadliest weapon is still his fist.

Back of DVD:

On the outskirts of San Francisco, a killer is loose, armed only with his mind. The leader of a mind-warping cult, Yarakunda (Cameron Mitchell) needs only to utter a few words to send his followers on a rampage of murder and destruction. When the daughter of wealthy industrialist, Templeton (Troy Donahue), falls under his evil spell, Templeton decides to fight back. He hires an ex-cop, Joe Wong, turned private investigator who is known on the street for getting jobs done. With the help of 5 special underground martial arts fighters, they penetrate the commune on a dangerous rescue and destroy mission.

Movie Review:

First some corrections. That poster, as cool as it is, has nothing to do with anything. The poster would have you believe this movies is about some sort of vigilante trucker who takes on the local punk gang. There's no-one in Low Blow that looks anything like anyone in that poster, especially not Leo Fong who is the complete antithesis of that muscly guy! Also, it appears to me that the Yarakunda cult don't do anything except sew crops, let alone raise insane killers.

Written, produced by and starring Leo Fong I knew this would be a crazy low budget affair from the outset. A robbery is taking place at the local deli. Fong hears gunfire from his office so comes down to investigate, opens the door and shouts to the cook "Hey, where's my ham sandwich!". The gunmen order him to sit down, but Fong takes out his pistol and shoots the gun men dead. He turns to leave then quips "Forget about the sandwich". Excellent start.

Fong gets chewed out at the police station by the Captain ("I aughta nail your ass to the wall!") and he is reminded that he is no longer a cop. Cut to a scene of a girl at some sort of cult commune being brainwashed by a blind guy in a black cape (Cameron Mitchell), then back to Fong at a cafe ordering chicken soup. The chef really puts on the "me so solly" routine as he takes a live chicken and chops it up (off camera) for the soup, but Fong stops short of eating it when he hears somebody being mugged in the street. He runs to help, beats up the muggers and gives them the advice "I never wanna see you again." Fong retires to his beaten up jalopy of a car, swears at it in Chinese then drives away.

This movie had absolutely no budget; surely less than something like Ghetto Blaster. They afforded widescreen cameras which is something in 1986 but I think that left no money for an audio guy or a cast that could act. This isn't a huge problem though because Low Blow is an absolute riot. I had my mouth open in disbelief for the first fifteen minutes it was so much fun.

Leo Fong can't act. He is atrocious and has less facial expressions than Keanu Reeves. He also can't fight very well. There's one scene when he trashes a car with a plank of wood but it's like watching an old woman bat somebody with her handbag. It doesn't matter though because he does it all so hilariously you just keep watching. He is also a hysterical driver, one of the intentional pieces of comedy constantly used throughout the movie. Leo drives badly but he parks much worse, always driving the car up the curb or hitting it into a pylon; it's fantastic stuff.

As we've learnt, Fong is no longer a cop. He is in fact a Private Investigator and bounty hunter, and obviously quite a bad one too as he doesn't seem to be able to pay his bills. Fong sits in his disgraceful office in a singlet top and not much else. A client does come to see him though - John Templeton, form John Templeton International. His daughter, Karen has been missing for two weeks and he wants her found. She seems to have run off to join the aforementioned Yarakunda cult. We see her in the yard with a dozen other workers ploughing the field, receiving a pep talk from the crazy second-in-charge Karma (Akosua Busia). She's a total nutter and it becomes increasingly obvious over the course of the film that she is taking advantage of the leader of the cult, Yarakunda himself (also known as Papa.. hahaha), that blind old man in a black cape that preaches love and peace - not at all the sewing of seeds and general warmongering promoted by Karma. The woman is clearly possessed and in need of an Exorcist in this scene (check out the video links at the end of this review).

Fong starts investigating the case and asks around town about Karen. He attends a lecture on Yarakunda and discovers that the woman Karma is actually a con pulling a scam to get peoples money. The lecturer warns Fong away from going, but determined to solve the case and get the girl back, Fong starts recruiting fighters from boxing rings and street hustling to help infiltrate the commune. A little later on he even holds a fighting competition in a dirt pit to find the best fighters; one of the winners is a huge muscle lady! Funny, funny stuff.

It seems that once you are in this cult you are here to stay. A kid, clearly now disinterested in the teachings and ploughing, tries to escape but is quickly brought down by Karma's cronies and thrown into a cell. Fong drives his jalopy to the commune and posing as a reporter gains entrance. This is short-lived as the cronies run a check on his licence plate, discover he is a P.I. and throw him in the cell with the kid after a brief torture session (Karma bites his ear and kicks him in the nuts!). He comes up with a hilarious attempt to escape by lighting a barrel on fire and beating up the guards when they come in to attend to it. Leo and the kid steal a commune car and escape, the kid firing a shotgun out the rear window and Fong driving through a meticulously erected wall of cardboard boxes!

Eventually Fong get's his gang of temporary mercenaries together and they infiltrate the commune and obviously rescue the girl. The best part of this is seeing a young Billy Blanks in his first ever role losing to Fong's awesome display of martial arts!

There is a lot of funny bad action in Low Blow, I couldn't possibly list all the highlights, and at only 86 minutes the movie does not overstay it's welcome (though 75 minutes would have made it tighter). My second favourite scene is the one I mentioned earlier of Fong trashing a car with a plank. This is special because not only are the occupants still in the car, but once he gets bored with the plank he cuts through the roof with a readily available circular saw! By the end only the bare frame of the car is left.

My absolute favourite scene, which you can also see in the clips below, is a fight between Fong and a beefy guy. The guy strangles Fong and says "I got you now, Chinaman!" Fong wrestles the guy to the ground and in a display of brute strength punches through his face, leaving a puddly mess of skin and bones! Totally over the top. I love it.

There are plenty of clips on YouTube of this great movie, mostly supplied by the one dedicated user. Make sure you check them out, then find a copy of the movie, invite your friends around and drink to Leo Fong!

Clips:

• Leo Fong orders a ham sandwich and kicks your ass!
• Leo Fong orders chicken feet soup and kicks your ass!
• Leo Fong destroys ethnic stereotypes!
• Leo Fong destroys your car!
• Leo Fong crushes your head!
• Leo Fong kicks Billy Blanks' ass!
• Akosua Busia preaches the word of Yarakunda! Yarakunda! Yarakunda!
• Bad actor takedown!

The Video:

Surprisingly for a movie of this vintage and obviously low budget the picture was sharp and clear for the most part, and 16:9 enhanced (though the bit was not set on the DVD and required manual switching). The problem is the audio. I'm sure the DVD is a clear representation of the source material, but that source material is bad. Half the cast mumble their lines, especially Fong, and it doesn't help that the soundtrack never stops. Some scenes require the cast to shout at each other which just causes bad audio clipping. I think they must have borrowed some knackered microphones from the local school!

Trailer: