Showing posts with label Richard Norton. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Richard Norton. Show all posts
Sunday, April 3, 2011

Equalizer 2000 (1988)

Equalizer 2000 poster

Tagline:

The Final War Is Over. The Battle's Just Begun.

Movie Review:

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Reviewed on vhs

In a post-apocalyptic future, the world's population now seems to live in a desert wasteland where Alaska once was. The ruling government, known as The Ownership, is ruthless in its control on what little is left of the oil supply. This has caused a rebel faction to exist who want better treatment and fairer access to the oil. The Ownership rule with an iron fist so have been waging a fierce battle against the rebels and are on the verge of winning. During a routine firefight, the father of Slade (Richard Norton, pictured above shirtless), a soldier working for The Ownership, is killed. Slade goes in to help against the orders of Colonel Lawton (William Steis). He is hit by a rebel, knocked out and taken away. Eventually accepted by the rebels, Slade is now a wanted enemy of The Ownership and exists only to kill Lawton and destroy the ruling government.

It's a simple enough plot and it certainly doesn't need any more explanation than that because this movie is amazing. It is literally wall to wall gunfire and explosions. I'm not talking about the kind of action referred to on the back of a modern day "action thriller" DVDs ("A five-star roller-coaster thrill-ride of action and excitement!") that never lives up to its promise. Equalizer 2000 is totally and utterly off the freaking chain EXPLOSIVE ACTION, brought to us by Roger Corman's long time producer Cirio H. Santiago. It's 84 minutes of solid action with numerous firefights, officers in ridiculous uniforms, a few punch-ups, car chases in Interceptor-like cars with spikes stuck to their chassis, cars jumping over chasms, flamethrowers mounted to artillery, a tribe of mountain folk that fire bows and arrows and exploding cars. If that doesn't convince you perhaps the inclusion of the lovely Corinne Wahl as Karen, Slade's love interest in the movie will.

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Let's talk about the gun on the cover for a second. I'm sure you are as used as me to covers being ten times more awesome than the contents of the tape or DVD inside; perhaps even the scenes on the cover not even occurring in the movie at all. Not so here. The gun that is pictured above indeed features in the movie. In fact the movie is named after the gun - the Equalizer 2000! It is an almost-complete super-weapon that Slade helps finish in a montage that focuses on Norton's pecs as much as the gun itself. It's a thing of beauty that shoots automatic rounds as well as rockets; a bit like a less-graceful attempt at what Ripley has at the end of Aliens. He then proceeds to lay waste to The Ownership army with it time and time again. It's easily one of my five favourite movie weapons, right up there with the minigun in Predator.

Richard Norton is awesome in this. He only speaks a few times - his strong Australian accent shines through here, probably intentionally kept so as to remind us that this is a Mad Max rip-off - the rest of the time he is kicking arse left, right and centre. The only downtime he has is to polish his gun and quickly romance Corinne Wahl's character. He's certainly in physically great fighting form. I would have enjoyed seeing him in a sequel to this. Equalizer 2001 perhaps? Equalizer 3000 - Norton is cryogenically frozen and thawed out to chase down a rogue criminal? Perhaps that is too similar to Demolition Man, but it would be cool.

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You know who else is in this movie? Terminator 2's Robert Patrick in a very early movie role for him. He plays Deke, neither a rebel or army soldier, just a trouble maker who buys and sells fuel for water. He get's interrogated by Colonel Lawton and along with his associates is drafted immediately into the service of The Ownership. Asside from pleading for his life, he turns up later when kidnapping Karen to encourage Slade to come after them. Patrick would seem to owe his career to producer/director Santiago as all his early roles were on his movies. The more you know!

IMDB says that parts of this movie were edited into another Norton/Steis/Santiago post-apocalyptic action flick, Raiders of the Sun. I can believe that this is possible; If I had made this movie I would want to rip it off for future movies as well, it's just that good. I have that movie coming to me in the post so we shall see how that plays out in a future review. Santiago had produced or directed plenty of schlock trash cinema in the Philippines right up to his death in 2008, including a bunch of the Bloodfist movies, One Man Army, Final Mission, Naked Fist and as recent as the Mark Dacascos movies The Hunt for Eagle One and its sequel. We shall surely be seeing more of his work on Explosive Action soon.

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If it wasn't obvious, you need to see this movie. This is precisely the kind of movie that this site was made for. There is no DVD of this which is a real shame, so VHS is your only (legal) option. I learnt something when I was acquiring this - the US tape put out by MGM, which the DTVC reviewed on his blog, is actually cut by about ten minutes (running at around 75 minutes). There is a pretty in depth comparison of the UK and US tapes over at movie-censorship.com and it would seem that a lot of the action scenes were shortened on the MGM tape. It was pure luck that I found my Australian issue CBS FOX tape which, based on the link above, is the same as the UK tape.

However you do see this movie, make it happen. Stop reading this review and start looking through those thrift stores and eBay auctions now for your very own copy of Equalizer 2000. And thanks to DTVC for bringing it to my attention in the first place.

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The Video:

As mentioned above, I reviewed the PAL Australian release tape put out by CBS FOX in 1987. The picture quality was amazing for it's age, budget and the fact it's a 25 year old video tape. The sky is actually blue, the sand looks sandy and people's skin isn't orange or green, as tends to happen with some tapes. The sound was fantastic with every gunshot and explosion shaking my speakers. Runtime 84 minutes, plus previews.

Sourced From:

eBay for $16, and I'd pay twice or three times the amount again.

Trailer:

More Screens:

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Thursday, December 16, 2010

Road House 2: Last Call (2006)

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Tagline:

Take it outside.

Back of DVD:

From drunken fist-fights to all-out brawls, the Black Pelican is known for its rough and rowdy atmosphere. But for one local drug-trafficer, it's prime real estate. Determined to make the road house his personal office by any means necessary, Wild Bill (Busey) starts a war with the Pelican's owner Nate (Patton). But when things turn sour, Nate enlists help from his nephew, undercover DEA agent Shane Tanner (Schaech). Seeing the opportunity to make the biggest bust of his career - and exact a lethal dose of revenge along the way - Shane takes over the Pelican for his battered uncle... but he's about to discover this local drug ring is bigger than ever imagined.

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Movie Review:

In the comments of a Michael Dudikoff movie Black Thunder over at the DTV Connoisseur, Matt and venom discussed briefly Road House 2. Venom was a fan of it but Matt thinks it's a "sack-of-asscrack DTV cashgrab". Now somehow I've managed to never seen the original Patrick Swayze movie, like many "classics" of 80's action that I am catching up on. The other week I was trawling for a non-bootleg bargain in Chinatown when I tripped over this DTV sequel for only a few bucks. Thinking back to Matt's hilarious comment and vow to never review the movie, I knew I had to take a gamble and give it a go.

After the old owner of the Black Pelican bar, Nate Tanner (Will Patton), turfs out some wannabe drug dealers who insist he sells his bar to the local drug lord (Wild Bill), he receives a strange phone call saying his staff aren't loyal and for the full details he should go meet this mysterious stranger. It of course turns out to be Wild Bill who sends his grunts in to fight and get their arse handed to them, impressively, by Patton. Wild Bill gets the upper hand and his Go-Go style sidekick girl throws knives at him, then throws him into the lake.

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Elsewhere at a strip bar a drug deal is going down between Shane Tanner (Johnathon Schaech) and a token spanish guy. Just as the deal goes through, a busty barmaid busts out her weapon (by that I mean sidearm) and puts the two under arrest for trafficking. She cuffs Shane, takes him into the back room and straddles him. All the boys in the audience cheer (I assume). Shane is freed and we realise he is an undercover DEA agent. He get's chewed out by his boss (of course) and then receives a phone call about his uncle Nate Tanner in hospital. Deciding to find out what happened Shane travels to Louisiana to get revenge and run the Black Pelican bar. The first thing he does is throw out the trash at the bar and take over running the joint.

I'd never heard of Johnathon Schaech before this. He is in slasher Laid to Rest that I've been meaning to check out for ages now, and also in it's upcoming sequel. He did an all right job as Shane Tanner and kicked a fair bit of arse when it was called for, and helps pretty blonde girls change their car tyres as well (Ellen Hollman playing Beau). Beau is quite hot and quickly gets into Shane's pants. When she hears that Wild Bill is planning on killing him at the bar at night she keeps him away from the Black Pelican with sex. It only keeps him away so long though and in the end they both go. This is a good thing as Beau (a school teacher who is, you guessed it, ex military) gets into a full cat-fight with Wild Bill's crazy sidekick girl! That's what the punters want to see! There's also a pretty funny fight in the hospital between the still-injured Nate Tanner and Wild Bill's thugs.

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The action dissipates a bit by the middle before the end movie climax, and normally this would really annoy me. Surprisingly I felt the story was strong enough to keep me interested when the action quotient was low. Also the overacting of Jake Busey kept the whole thing cracking along as well. It all ends in a big old fashion shoot-em-up and more bar room brawls as Shane cleans up this town.

The bar room fights were all quite good, though with the excessive back-of-the-head viewpoints shown I have to assume there was a lot of stunt double action going on. There was a bit of zooming in sometimes but mostly you could see the fights pretty clearly. I was also happy not to see any MTV-style ADD editing. Actually the whole movie, whilst looking like a standard Sony DTV movie (think Connor's War or any Seagal/Snipes of late) still felt quite old school, which was refreshing.

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Jake Busey really is hilarious as Wild Bill, and yes, he is Gary Busey's son (that reminds me, I really need to do some Gary Busey movies here) and just like Machete he gets the ladies - a great lesbian spa scene is included for those who are interested (all of you). His deal in this is that for some reason the location of the bar would be perfect for hosting drug deals. That's all really, and he just wants the bar. I had wondered where I had seen this guy before and it dawned on me; he was the crazy religious nutter in Contact that blows himself up. He was frightening in that movie but is just ridiculous in Roadhouse 2. He reminded me a bit of the white kid in your street who wants to be a "gangsta" like his idols and spends his whole time overacting and holding a pretend gun sideways. He's never really frightening as a drug lord. In fact it feels like he has daddy issues. I could be reading into something that isn't there, but either way, Wild Bill is no Kill Bill.

Here's the bait-and-switch however. Richard Norton doesn't turn up till the half way point and then only has a few lines on an expensive boat. He does eventually land in Louisiana when Shane has made life tough for Norton's cronies - and yes there is a reasonable fight between him and Schaech - but still he doesn't do much else. His accent is all over the place too. If I hadn't known beforehand and you had told me afterwards that he was Australian, I wouldn't believe you. It's like an ungodly mix of American-South African-New Zealand.

So there you have it; it's not brilliant but in the end I was entertained. There were fights that weren't half bad, a few boobs and even an explosion (just a car smashing into two others). I'm sure that if I had see the first movie and was comparing the two, it would not come off so well, but that just isn't the case. Sorry Matt, it's two to one in favour for this now.

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The Video:

Sharp, clear and vibrant like most modern DTV affairs. Clear, punchy surround audio. Runtime 83 minutes.

Sourced From:

Some random shop in Chinatown for $5.

Trailer:

More Screens:

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