Space Wars: Quest for the Deepstar (2022)

Tagline:

Death is reversible, but at what cost?

Review:

In 2980, death is reversible using a blue liquid called Essence. Space scavengers Kip Corman (Michael Pare) and his daughter Taylor (Sarah French) seek to bring back Kip's deceased wife by transplanting her essence into a cyborg body. After a scavenge transaction goes bad, the pair flee leaving them on the run from the evil Elnora. Running on fumes, the duo decide to embark on one last adventure which is when they encounter a scientist who holds the key to finding the legendary Deepstar - a lost ship supposedly full of treasure. Soon Kip and Taylor realize that they aren't the only ones searching for it as Dykstra (Olivier Gruner) and his rag-tag team of space pirates give them chase.

So, what does the hunt for the Deepstar have to do with mysterious blue liquids and dead wives? Kip and his daughter are flat broke, that’s what, and they hope that whatever is in the Deepstar can pay off their debts to Jabba the- I mean, fund the resurrection of Kip’s dear wife and Taylor’s mother. The opening monologue of the film briefed us on the future-year and the Essence and how it’s infused with a cyborg body, but I have many questions on the mechanics: how long after death do you have before you can extract the blue goo? Is it like brain death; get them within the first six minutes or it’s a big bust? What state is dear mother in when in the vial of liquid – is she sentient like a brain in a jar, or just in a dream state? These answers require a sequel, or more preferably, a prequel: Space Wars – The Essence of Life (email me to discuss purchasing this title).

If Kip is our Han Solo, than Dykstra is our Greedo. Gruner is great in the role and has a suitable array of henchman and henchwomen to assist him. On top of both of them is the evil Elnora played by Sadie Katz. She is peak Star Trek villain and chews up and spits out her dialogue with glee. Her character is ruthless and happily dispatches her own underlings to make a point (and because they can just be resurrected anyway, I guess).

On the side of the good guys is Jackie, a stowaway that Kip and Taylor pick up on their journey who happens to know the location of the Deepstar. Unfortunately Dykstra knows this too, which is why he’s giving the team chase. Much of the film is either Dykstra or Elnora gaining the upper hand on Kip and Taylor, but as you would expect, he finds a way out each time.

Let’s talk about the action. We have Pare as the good guy and more to the point we have Gruner as the bad guy. So, do they fight? Well if you are looking for an all out brawl between them, you won’t get that. Gruner does roundhouse an alien on a desert planet which was cool, and there are a couple of tussles in the film – Taylor actually gets a good punch up in – but this is really more a sci-fi adventure than explosive action. Nothing wrong with that, but don’t expect Angel Town. What you do get is lots of space battles!

Which leads me onto the effects. I was actually pretty impressed with the CG effects in the film, for the most part. Lot’s of stylish looking ships and space battles, colourful laser bolts and gigantic alien monsters. The quality reminded me of an episode of Stargate SG1 or Battlestar Galactica the reboot. If SyFy Channel were still making stuff like this, it would look on par I think. Where it falls down compared to those shows is when reality mixes with the CG. There can be rough greenscreen edges around people at times, or a lack of depth when they stand in front of a CG backdrop. It’s a minor thing really and the production works around this as best it can, particularly by utilising strong lighting. We even get a couple of old school aliens in rubber masks moments that I wish were seen a bit more.

I have to mention the pre-opening credits scene in the film, as it is such a fun setup. Kip is about to be executed in an elaborate way by an over the top cartoon character bad guy who is surrounded by scantily clad women with guns. Of course he escapes in an seat-of-your-pants fashion but I had to applaud the execution method used, and the glee on the executioners face. It really set the tone of the film for me as ‘comic book’ but not in a dark, depressing DC universe way. Everything is so brightly coloured in Space Wars.

You know what this film reminded me of? Space Chase, from 1990. I am probably one of four people who has seen that classic but the similarities are there, mostly because it all stems from Flash Gordon and of course a certain famous George Lucas film that isn’t American Graffiti. I don’t know why I’ve never reviewed Space Chase, but I should do that at some point.

As for Space Wars, this is a good time. It’s 90 minutes of space opera’ing and space adventuring, with plenty of lasers shot, fists fought and acting over’ed. Sure, some of the lines don’t land well (“I killed my mum. Now I’ll kill yours!”) but the air of fun in the film never dissipates. This air of fun can be seen in the bloopers feature on the DVD – the cast and crew are all having a great time, and the obvious budgetary constraints are shown in this reel with sets falling over and costumes failing the actors.

Space Wars feels like a passion project for Director Garo Setian and clearly the cast enjoy working with him, as many of them were involved in his previous picture, Automation. Recommended Sunday afternoon viewing.

Trailer:

Mars (1997)

Tagline:

Where there is life there is also death.

Movie Review:

For some reason I have been really anxious to see this movie ever since I created this blog. I think it was the DVD cover - it spoke to me in a bad sci-fi kind of way that really intrigued me. I kept putting off buying it as the only option was importing it and I knew I only wanted to spend a couple of bucks on it, but then I did a trade for a copy of Blood Hands with a Canadian friend of mine and here we are. Total Recall on the cheap is what I was expecting. Did it deliver?

Olivier Gruner plays renegade law enforcer Caution Templar who arrives on Mars after receiving a message from his brother of some urgency. When he arrives he learns that his brother is dead. Not only that, but he uncovers a mystery that explains that the deadly plague that is killing the workers of this mining planet may be suspicious in nature, and that The Company are involved. With the help of a female doctor with a bizarre hair cut (Shari Belafonte), Cautions fights his way to the truth while being chased by company law enforcers who want him dead.

This was pretty good and moved a long at a fair clip. It was totally Total Recall done on the cheap, that's for sure. We have the constant orange dust of the planet outside, the cheap and sleazy living domes on the inside that are filled with prostitutes and strip bars with flickering lighting. There was the annoying sidekick character (though this one didn't turn out to be a mutant with five kids to feed). And of course we had the 'is he a bad guy' head of the company that runs the planet and his team of mainly incompetent goons. About the only real difference was that the main girl in Mars is an educated Doctor researching the cause of the plague, and not a full time plaything for Gruner.

Gruner fills the Schwarzenegger role admirably though the character he plays and the supporting storyline are different enough to make him stand out. And you gotta love that name - Caution Templer. Being that his character is a "Keeper" - an almost religious-like servant of the company - the surname was appropriate. But.. Caution? When his brother was in his death-throws at the beginning and his last words were "Caution... Caution..." I had assumed he was talking about the package he carried; perhaps it contained bio-weapons or some sort of alien artefact. And then Gruner walks onto screen with his identification card "Caution Templer". I did snigger a little.

The main reason to check out a Gruner film is to see him kicking arse and he did plenty of that here. In fact from the small selection of Gruner films we have reviewed here so far (Crooked and Automatic - yes I am aware I haven't checked out the revered Nemesis yet), I think this one demonstrates his capabilities the most. There are rarely any scenes, especially in the first and third acts, where Gruner isn't round-housing come guy into a glass table. His acting is the usual Gruner affair; stare blankly, speak softly and kick things good. Though in this case his voice is DUBBED, so it's not his own voice speaking softly! Quite why the producers decided to do this is beyond me. It's not like he was hard to understand in Automatic.

I got a kick out of seeing Lee de Broux in this, better known (to me, anyway) as the cocaine dealer boss in Robocop. You know the one: "Mikey, blow this cocksucker's head off!" He was the head of security in Mars and had a bit of a cuddly uncle thing going on, not wanting to get too involved and trying to keep order and not get fired. There is also an appearance by another 'that guy' bad guy Nils Allen Stewart who turns up as beefcake thugs in many movies.

It looks like there is something exciting on the horizon. If IMDB is to be believed, 2012 will see the release of a new Albert Pyun film entitled "Red Moon" which stars Kevin Sorbo, Michael Pare, Olivier Gruner and Sasha Mitchel from the Kickboxer sequels. It appears to be a sequel to previous Pyun film "Tales of an Ancient Empire" which everybody above except Mitchel had been a part of. I've not seen Tales yet and its IMDB score of 2.8 does not fill me with confidence, but I'm kind of hoping that Gruner and Mitchell will be pitted against each other in a show of kickboxing awesomeness.

Anyway, Mars is worth checking out and is a low budget sci-fi actioner on par with something like TC-2000. Pick it up if you see it cheap

The Video:

Fullscreen video that is pretty decent but the audio seems a little distant and muddy at times. I had to turn the volume right up, but then the music would sometimes overpower. Runtime 90 minutes. Note: the screenshots here I found scattered around the internet as my DVD wouldn't read in the computer for some reason.

Sourced From:

A trade with another fellow bad action fan.

Trailer:

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Crooked aka Soft Target (2006)

Tagline:

Don't ever trust the law.

Movie Review:

Talking with a work colleague the other day I postulated that there are three tiers of action hero: A-level stars like Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham and Bruce Willis. B-level stars like Dolph Lundgren, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Wesley Snipes and Steve Austin. Sometimes A and B level stars mix - B-level stars may have had prolific A-level careers in the early days, and A-level stars may take a pay dive every so often to appear in something smaller. But then there are the C-level action stars who never really get above their stature, rarely invited to play with the big boys. I can't think of two actors that epitomise this more fully than Don "The Dragon" Wilson and Olivier Gruner. Perhaps we'll allow Billy Blanks to the party as well; bless him and his Tae Bo.

When I tell my friends what movies I watch on the weekend for this blog I usually get looks of puzzlement. This would definitely be one of those movies that would result in head scratching from anybody I tried to explain it to. Nobody in regular film-going circles knows who Don or Olivier are but I got real excited when I found that they were both in the same movie. Not only that, but stars from the past like Fred Williamson, Gary Busey and hell even Martin Kove were in this as well! That's solid direct-to-video action gold on paper... but in practice?

In short, not really. The basic plot of Crooked sees Fred Williamson in a glorified cameo role along with another detective protecting a snitch in a hotel. While the two play cards the snitch orders in some prostitutes (unusual for protective custody, but there you go). One of the girls freaks out and decides to wait in the bathroom while the other gets on with the job. That's when the cops are attacked by assailants known to the snitch and are killed. That's right Williamson is already out of the picture and we are ten minutes in. The snitch is killed after revealing he has money hidden in a locker but has lost the key. The girl waiting in the bathroom, Angel (Diana Kauffman) finds the key on the floor and makes a run for it.

Detectives Danny Tyler (Wilson) and Phil Yordan (Gruner) arrive on the scene and it's obvious the two don't get along. Gary Busey as Chief John Rouse, who spends the movie with crooked glasses and talking into his lapel.. actually maybe that's why the movie is called Crooked?.. thinks it's a great idea to pair this mis-matched couple of detectives up to find the missing Angel and protect her from the killers still on the loose. Martin Kove as Jake Lawlor spends the movie standing in hallways drinking coffee, until the final act when he finally picks up a weapon.

So you can see already it's a Don and Olivier vehicle and everyone else is just along for the ride. It could still work, right? Eh, sort of. The production values here are pretty bad; think early 2000's Seagal DTV movies as he was making his transition from silver screen to small screen. Bad lines, bad delivery, bad acting, bad shaky cameras, bad stock sound footage. The shaky cam was so bad at some points that the two cups of tea I had just had felt like coming back up again. IMDB says the budget was 2.5m. That's pretty low in this day and age and it shows, quite badly. At least a car gets blown up, that's a good use of the budget.

Danny, Phil and Angel stay on the move throughout the movie and whenever they stop they are eventually attacked. This leads Gary Busey to believe there is a leak among his team and he keeps a "close eye" on them. Martin Kove continues to stand in hallways. Olivier and Don try their best to be the new Dolph Lundgren and Brandon Lee in Showdown in Little Tokyo mis-matched buttoned-down cop and get's-the-job-done cop, but there is very little chemistry between them and the lines they are given to recite don't help. Phil in one scene tells Angel to her face that she is a "fucking whore" and in the next scene buys her lunch. This needed a better writer.

Enough of that crap, how's the action? Mediocre for the most, but Olivier and Don still bring the swinging high-kicks to the table which is good. Don brings his angry fight-face a few times which is outstanding and easily the best parts of the film. Some of the fights (there are a few) aren't too bad but again they suffer from being zoomed in too much with shaky cam and off putting generic punch, kick and firing sounds. The shootouts are quite average and at one point one of the thugs that attacks Don looks like a bum off the street, complete with beanie and grey beard. At least the picture from the cover with Olivier firing two pistols cross-arms actually occurs, which is more than can be said for most DTV action covers. There's a totally inappropriate dual sex scene that borders on soft-core between Phil and his wife and Danny and Angel. If you ever wanted to see Olivier Gruner in a foamy bath with a girl who has breasts the size of watermelons, Crooked is for you.

It sounds like I hated this movie; not so. I was entertained and didn't fall asleep. I just expected more from the cast but for that, in this case, I am blaming the crew and to a lesser extent the budget. Actors can only work with what they are given and what they are given here, for the most part, is bland and unfulfilling. Worth a rental or 99c pickup, but keep your expectations low.

The Video:

Nothing to write home about but a good enough widescreen picture on the R1 disc (under the title Crooked). The sound is fine except for the obvious budget issues that's caused by bad microphones. Runtime around 90 minutes.

Sourced From:

eBay for 99c.

Trailer:

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Automatic (1995)

Tagline:

Wired for action. Programmed to defend. Determined to survive

Back of DVD:

It is 2033 and every home should be equipped with the latest in home security devices, the Automatic J76. Developed and manufactured by RobGen industries, the J76 is a man-machine security guard, defender and handyman. When a female employee, Laura is assaulted at work, an Automatic prototype intervenes and accidentally kills her offender thus setting in motion a man-hunt for the machine and Laura throughout the Company's headquarters.

Movie Review:

After an effective though familiar introductory title sequence slowly panning around the body of a man with protruding cables, interjected with CG images of a metal skeleton, we are shown a scene of a father putting his daughter to bed. As he returns to the living room there is a droid that looks like the old Nintendo R.O.B. serving drinks. There's gun fire, the door of the house is shot in and some cliched gangster-type robbers begin tearing the place apart. A hilarious completely non-human looking silver android gets blown to bits and then... cut to John Glover (Daniel Clamp from Gremlins 2, and in a similar mock-advertisement in Robocop 2 selling the Magnavolt deadly car alarm) revealing that what we are watching is an advertisement. Phew.

Apparently he is selling something called an Automatic; a robotic personal security guard and general butler for rich people that need more than just a deadlock on the door and an Alsatian guard dog to feel secure. The same ad plays again but this time Olivier Gruner kickboxes the crims through walls, then apologises for the mess. He's quite thoughtful that way.

John Glover (playing RobGen CEO Goddard Marx) is actually showing the then 5 year old advertisement to his board members. His banker is not impressed and threatens to pull the pin on the company's outstanding loan. Goddard counters the threat by wheeling out a large box that slides open in a display of smoke mechanical sound effects. The banker is left in awe of its contents, but we the viewer do not see what is inside.

That's the intro anyway. The main crux of the movie is Olivier Gruner, playing Automatic number J269, stepping in on one of the company executives making unwanted moves on his secretary, Nora Rochester (incorrectly named Laura on the back of the box) played by the lovely Daphne Ashbrook. When he has her pinned down unable to breathe, J269 calmly asks that he stops. The exec gets his gun and takes a shot at him, hitting him in the shoulder, then points it at Nora. J269 kicks the gun out of his hand and swipes the exec so hard he cracks his head on a piano and drops dead. Shit! The I, Robot rules did not quite work out this time.

When Olivier and Nora explain to Goddard over the videophone (it's a 1990's impression of the year 2033 remember) what has happened, he orders in a group of mercenaries-for-hire to 'quietly' take care of the problem and kill both J269 and Nora (for having seen too much). This is pretty funny because the first thing they do is take out the side of the building with helicopter mounted machine guns. Not that quiet really. The rest of the movie is a mix of Olivier and Nora dodging and fighting the vigilante kill team (led by Jeff Kober), hiding in ventilation shafts and crawlspaces, and generally trying to escape. Olivier Gruner kicks a bit of arse in this one too. Presumably the Automatics receive weapons training as J269 is as handy with firearms as he is with martial arts.

This flick is a pretty good ride and has a few funny moments, Goddard's hat and cardigan being some of them. J269 has a few unintentionally hilarious heart-renching moments when he sobs that people call him Tin Man. Nora explains that the Tin Man from Oz had no heart. This upsets J269 so it's a relief later when he discovers that he does have a heart, of sorts.

I quite liked the various robots and gadgets in use in the movie and the computer screens have that nice 80's green-screen with wireframe graphics going on. In fact the whole movie feels a decade too late, this should have come out in 1985. It feels very Bladerunner too, which should help you work out how the story ends, and also what was in the box mentioned in the first paragraphs.

Olivier is typo'd as Oliver on the front of the DVD. I don't blame them; I wasn't familiar with Olivier Gruner's work so Oliver sounded correct to me, though having looked him up I will definitely be checking out Nemesis, Crooked and Interceptors in the future. Olivier is a girls name anyway. Snort.

The Video:

This is a cheap R4 release by RAAM Multimedia of whom I can find no mention of on the Interwebs. The picture is average but acceptable. The colours are bland and the overall image is quite soft. There is a little macroblocking during the fast scenes. Audio is okay but clips a little when people are shouting. Overall not spectacular but it will do, it is certainly better than VHS. It's presented in 4:3 fullscreen, the original aspect as far as I can tell.

Sourced From:

Dick Smith for $2 in the bargain bins.

Trailer:

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