Sunday, November 12, 2023

Lunar Cop (1995)

Lunar Cop


He came to Earth to clean up the mess!



Michael Paré is Lunar Cop Joe Brody of the moon colony, sent to the supposed ruins of earth to retrieve a stolen serum that can revitalise the planet for habitation after the Big Burn. When he arrives he finds a post apocalyptic wasteland ruled by a deranged Billy Drago as Kay and his motorcycle riding thugs, but the planet is not the toxic dump he was told it was.

The first ten minutes on the moon colony are glorious in a Roger Corman kind of way: static space sets, amusing costumes and military bravado. Once on earth, Brody finds a motorcycle and quickly becomes a Mad Max style protector in a wild west that replaces horses with many, many motorcycles. Given the desert location and style of action, this feels very much like Cirio Santiago's Stryker (or Wheels of Fire, or Equalizer 2000..)


Paré is pretty stoic in this, except when letting his guard down for Thora. He's not the type of guy I immediately think of when it comes to post-apocalyptic action in a desert wasteland, but he does well here. Mad Michael, rather than Mad Max, and not really that mad. He certainly keeps busy these days, starring in every second film from The Asylum (I guess when Eric Roberts isn't available).

Walker Brandt plays the Pocahontas style love interest, Thora, and like I said Billy Drago is unhinged and doing his best Toecutter impersonation. His inclusion is a diversion from the real fight: once Brody finds out the truth about the Earth survivors, the moon colony send a Terminator-style cyborg to eliminate him. The action stakes only get higher from here!

So many things explode in this film. The pyro budget was definitely higher than the sets, but that's a good thing, because they blow up those sets. When things aren't exploding, they are at least being shot at. In fact the only times the action lets up is for Brody to make temporary goo-goo eyes at Thora. That’s okay, because the explosions soon resume.

From the director of the great Joe Lara film American Cyborg Steel Warrior, and you can tell. I dug this one, because it just doesn't give you time not to! 84 minutes of shit exploding, you can't go wrong.