Special Forces (2003)

 

Tagline:

They fight for your life.

Movie Review:

It's been a while since my last review, but I couldn't be happier to break the drought with something as explosive as Special Forces. The plot is incredibly simple; ambitious American female reporter gets captured by Maldovian forces trying to take photos of a genocidal event, US Special Forces team bust heads in an attempt to extract her. You already know how this will go, and it goes exactly how you think. America wins, woo! But it doesn't matter that you know how it goes, what matters is how high the body count is when you get there.

Special Forces hits the nail on the head for action fans. Directed by Isaac Florentine (Undisputed II and III, Ninja, Shepherd: Border Patrol, U.S. Seals II), one of the best in the business as far as I'm concerned with nary a single MTV-style quick-cut in use, and with many appearances by (but not fully starring) the awesome Scott Adkins. Well acted by all involved, we see the team of special forces comprised of interchangeable rough-and-tough men going by the names Jess, Bear, Wyatt and Reyes lead by Major Don Harding (Marshall R. Teague, U.S. Seals II, The Rock, Armageddon and a lot of TV work), who work their way through Maldova to rescue the girl and take out the ruthless General Hasib Rafendek (Eli Danker) - of which Major Harding has already been acquainted with, as revealed to us by a flashback sequence.

Action hero (and I'm happy to call him that now that he's played alongside The Action Greats in The Expendables 2) Scott Adkins shows up as the last remaining soldier of a British squad that never made it out of Maldova. He acts alone but saves the bacon of the Special Forces team on three occasions. It's also great to hear Adkins using his real British accent for once!

"Mission is King"

This is a non stop actionfest, folks. There are at least six full shootouts featuring every military-grade weapon you could think of. The minuscule $2.5m budget must have been used entirely on ammunition and exploding trucks, so I'll forgive the frankly terrible looking CG helicopter that whisks the team away at the end of the film. It's not a gory film either, with a high level of violence but not an overly grotesque. The scenery of Lithuania doubling as Maldova provides an authentic representation of a war-torn post-USSR republic.

This is easily the most overly-patriotic bordering on silly action film I've ever seen. There are so many scenes featuring American flags I lost count, but my favourite moments would be the artistic blood splatter across a US flag patch received by a captured Corporal, the Major drinking from a coffee cup emblazoned with the flag and the final scene rolling onto the credits that features the Major telling Talbot "this is why I keep doing it" as we pan across to a waving American flag. Coupled with the constant footage of Maldovian soldiers beating on their own women and children, it's clear who we are meant to be rooting for here.

Highlight:

The action basically does not stop for the full ninety minutes, but the highlight simply has to go to the duel fights in the finale - Marshall R. Teague vs. Eli Danker, and Scott Adkins vs. stuntman Vladislavas Jacukevicius. Surprisingly, Teague is reasonable with the ol' high kicks and lands a decent punch on Danker a few times. But the Hong Kong style fight between Adkins and Jacukevicius is simply outstanding - easily the best Adkins fight I've seen. He's as fast as Jackie Chan in his early days and just as creative, using whatever is laying around to help him win the fight. Jacukevicius is a great opponent for Adkins as he does this kind of stunt work for a living (this is is only acting role) but the upper hand, of course, goes to the triumphant Adkins. 

Sourced From:

Ex-rental R4 DVD brought to us by Roadshow Entertainment and Ninth Dimension. Presented in 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen, the film looks and sounds good but suffers a little from too much video compression in some scenes.

Trailer:

Getting Even aka La Vendetta (1988)

Tagline:

It's time to settle the score! 

Movie Review:

I love 80's Italian action films. There is always a substantial amount of poorly choreographed punch-fighting directed at people with beards in paisley shirts and beige trousers. Magnificent stuff, really. Getting Even aka La Vendetta is a 1988 revenge film directed by Leandro Lucchetti (Apocalypse Mercenaries, Caged Women) starring The Shaft himself, Richard Roundtree and ably assisted by Italian action/post-apocalyptic mainstay Harrison Muller Jr. (2020 Texas Gladiators, Warrior of the Lost World, The Final Executioner, She).

Roy Evans (Harrison Muller Jr.) ia an ex-Marine who ran top secret missions for the C.I.A. in Vietnam. Captured and tortured for five years during the war after being left behind at gunpoint by supposed friend John Slisko (Michael Aronin), Evans has now been recruited by old 'Nam buddy Dundee (Richard Roundtree) to hunt down Slisko who has been murdering prostitutes in New York City with his old war knife. After being betrayed all those years ago, Evans is keen to have his revenge!

The two beat up some squatters (including knocking a guy off a motorbike with a baseball bat!) to get information and learn that Slisko is now an international arms dealer boss who runs a local gym as a front. The pair find him at his gym but are caught off their guard by his thugs. Slisko escapes during a shootout which then leads our pair to Bangkok, the centre of Slisko's arms operations!

Getting Even is a solid actioner with a solid cast. It's not remarkable by any means but it's good fun - a lot of the best action in the film is lifted from another Muller film that Lucchetti produced, The Violent Breed. Roundtree and Muller put in good performances and know how to win a fight or ten, with Roundtree putting in some well-aimed single shots, and Michael Aronin plays a decent mob style boss. But really, Italian action films from the 80's are about the ACTION and not much more; lines are more often than not dubbed by someone else, and dialogue only used to get you from one place to another. Oh and there is usually some naked female form on display, which is not an exception in Getting Even!

Highlight:

The final fifteen is a pretty explosive display of machine guns, grenades to jeeps and plenty of slow motion jumping from exploding huts as the pair move in on Slisko's regime. Just what you want in your Namsploitation films!

Sourced From:

VHS bought from eBay.

Trailer:

The Expendables 2 (2012)

 

Tagline:

Back for War.

Movie Review:

To say that I've been looking forward to seeing The Expendables 2 is like saying "I quite enjoy breathing". I needed to see this movie, as my wife will attest to, and it simply did not disappoint. If you are a fan of big, dumb 80's style action films, a fan of the first movie, or somebody who thought the first movie needed to go further, then all you need to know is "go see this film immediately".

The film opens in Nepal as mercenaries are bludgeoning a captive prisoner. Enter: The Expendables - Toll Road (Randy Couture), Hale Caesar (Terry Crews), Gunner (Dolph Lundgren), Yin Yang (Jet Li), Lee Christmas (Jason Statham) and Barney Ross (Sylvester Stallone) to save the day with tanks, missiles, and endless rounds of ammunition unleashed upon enemy forces resulting in CG-gore head-shots (which look pretty good to my eyes, and not obviously cartoon-y - just over the top!), and newcomer Billy the Kid (Liam Hemsworth) sniping from a distance with his 50 calibre rifle. Jet Li even pulls out the martial arts with saucepans like a late 70's Hong Kong film. It's hard to put in words how awesome this opening scene is.

Rescuing their target (and somebody else who was in the wrong place at the wrong time) the team fly home for some R&R. That's when Church (Bruce Willis) shows up demanding that a debt to him be paid by Barney Ross, so the team set out to retrieve a package from a safe in a downed plane. Sounds like an easy pay check but Ross has to agree to take specialist Maggie (Nan Yu) along with him. Of course it all goes terribly wrong when somebody else is after the package - Villain (Jean-Claude Van Damme), a ruthless arms dealer - and one of the Expendables crew is killed in action by a knife to the throat held by Villain's right-hand-man, Hector (the awesome Scott Adkins). So what does a team of old mercenaries do? "Track 'em, find 'em, kill 'em!" … with a few old friends showing up along the way to give a helping hand.

This was a great, great action movie. If movies are based solely on the amount of fun you have watching them, then The Expendables 2 is up there with the best. Don't be stupid and look for deep meaning, just giggle like a schoolgirl when Schwarzenegger, Stallone and Willis empty an entire airport with automatic weapons! Laugh as Lundgren gets drunk and tries to crack on to Nan Yu's Maggie. Fist-pump the air as Terry Crews brings out the automatic shotgun from the first film and dismembers wave after wave of bad guy. Grin from ear to ear as Jason Statham dressed as a priest declares "I now pronounce you man and knife!". Cheer as Chuck Norris appears out of the smoke and forgets how to act entirely (Arnie is a bit rusty too, but who the hell cares?). Even Nan Yu (also in Dolph Lundgren's "Diamond Dogs") gets her fair share of carnage in.

"I'll be back!", "You've been back enough! It's time for me to be back!"

If you thought the first film had a lot of back-slapping referential humour, you ain't seen nothing yet! Any time Schwarzenegger, Willis and Stallone share a scene it's just a constant stream of "Rambo", "I'll be back" and "Yippie-ki-yay" lines. You'll cringe but you'll love it at the same time. They are clearly having a whale of a time doing it and you'll have a whale of a time watching it. And you may have read it elsewhere but Chuck Norris does crack a Chuck Norris Fact joke - and it's brilliantly awful.

Van Damme is excellent as the plutonium-obsessed leader Villain who forces slaves to dig mines looking for the lost Russian chemicals of destruction. His twisted portrayal of the character gives you someone to hate and also makes you wonder why JCVD doesn't do bad-guy roles more often - he previously only seemed to do them when he appears in the movie as two characters ala Replicant. Scott Adkins' Hector is just as great as his right-hand-man, and is ruthless in carrying out orders given to him by Villain. And yes, we get to see both dudes roundhouse kicking members of Ross' team - Van Damme's still got it!

Downsides? Well Yin Yang is only in the opening scene before making a discreet exit out of the plane with a parachute over China, to which a disappointed Gunner asks "Who am I going to make fun of now?" and Yin replies "Find another minority". Toll Road, Hale Caesar and Gunner are pushed more to the background than the first movie with no real shining moments given to any of them - though Gunner does try to save the day in one instance with his degree in Chemical Engineering; a degree that Dolph Lundgren actually has! The end fights involving Adkins and JCVD could have been longer but that is really splitting hairs - they were great as they were. Any other downsides revolve around similar issues people had with the first movie; that is some of the emotional plot lines were a bit forced and didn't quite work. That issue is still apparent here when Sly talks with Hemsworth or Nan Yu but not as bad as the attempts with Mickey Rourke were in the first film.

The Expendables 2 is the cure to all the Mission Impossible 17's and Bourne Whatever's of the world. No brains, all brawn, big guns and fun dialogue. Directed this time by Simon West who has helmed Con Air and Tomb Raider, he films a frenetic action film that only resorts to shaky-cam once by my count and looks a treat, outside a few overly-dark moments including the final Stallone/JCVD fight. Another classic in Nu Image's action repository. See this now!

Highlight:

There are many, many glorious moments in this film but I have to give it up for the few appearances we get of Chuck Norris. Every time he appears on screen he gets his own theme song. He cracks a Chuck Norris joke, badly, and it's brilliant. And he gets one of the funniest kills in the movie where the resultant headshot is viewed through the full body security scanner at the airport. Boom! 

Sourced From:

Watched at the cinema, and worth every dollar!

Trailer:

Angel of Fury aka Lady Dragon 2 (1992)

 

Tagline:

She's got a right hook that's DEADLY. 

Movie Review:

Well it's been a while between reviews! Finally I'm back with a little Rothrock to entertain. I'm also going to dispose with the Quick Blast titles on shorter reviews and just let the reviews speak for themselves, be they long, short or a one line "Worst. Movie. Ever." Hope you enjoy.

  

Cynthia Rothrock is Susan Morgan, "The Golden Angel", a boxer who is married to a famous Indonesian soccer star Sonny Sumarto (George Rudy). After successful matches for both of them, the couple fly back from LA to Jakarta, but at the airport their bags are switched with ruthless diamond thief Diego (Billy Drago) and his merry band of cohorts, Jack (Gret Stuart) and Reb (Sam J. Jones, looking like he's walked off the set of one of his many Vietnam war movies, bandana and all). 

After returning home, Diego and co. break in to their house looking for the diamonds but neither are forthcoming, so Jack and Sam break Sonny's legs and Diego rapes Susan. That's not the end of it; Diego and co. come back day after day (unbelievably there are no police guarding the house) looking for the diamonds, and one day when Susan is out, Diego brutally kills poor wheelchair-bound Sonny. This sets Susan on an inevitable and incurable path of one-woman's-revenge! 

  

"You're not gonna get inside my head, fucker!"

I had fun with this. It was far darker than I was expecting; even the cheap synth soundtrack was moody. I guess any movie that opens with a rape in the first fifteen minutes isn't going to be laugh-a-minute. It get's quite bleak during and after Sonny's funeral where we learn that his was an icon among his native village; they even thrust a one legged kid on crutches in our face to make the point of the revenge more obvious. A strange Indonesian priestess (I think) says Susan looks like a woman with revenge in her heart - ain't that the truth. She has three people to kill!

Drago is an evil slimeball in this. He plays the character really well and you just love to hate him. His mannerisms are quite sickly and I got creepy shivers whenever he (repeatedly) said "There's my pretty, pretty, pretty.." to Rothrock's character, or called her on the phone to stalk her. I still don't get how stupid he was returning to the scene of the crime at least four times in the movie, but I digress. Jack is a bit of a nothing character sadly and is dispatched first by Susan as she dressed like Marilyn Monroe and seduces him in an elevator - with his own belt tied around his neck, if you follow me. Sam Jones' Reb seems like he is high on the best drugs ever throughout the whole film, continually laughing at his own shadow. Even Diego get's annoyed at this and slaps him around a few times. 

  

Rothrock is her usual great self and gets at least five decent fights in the film, and a car chase that shows the same car explode SIX TIMES from different angles! The first fight is hilarious as she dresses as a streetwalker to get information from a random pimp who attacks her with a sword. She of course fights the three main bad guys, and the final one with Diego is pretty damn good. You know a final fight is going to be good when it's held in an Indonesian steelworks. And you just know that somebody is going to go into the open oven, and it's not going to be the film's heroine.

"How do you like your murderers; medium or well done?"

A solid revenge-thriller with plenty of good B-action set-pieces. Directed by David Worth, best known for directing Kickboxer and Bloodsport - movies not that far removed from Angel of Fury.

Highlight:

Definitely the moment when Susan and Reb square off down at the shipping docks. Susan kidnaps Reb from the mens room at a fancy restaurant and forces him to drive at gunpoint. He manages to break free and after a cat and mouse chase between shipping containers, Susan catches up with him and knocks him to the ground. Injured and unable to move, Susan drops a container from a conveniently placed crane onto Reb squishing him flat. He laughs his manic laugh right up until he becomes a pancake.

Sourced From:

A thrift store VHS pickup. 

Trailer: