Sunday, November 14, 2010

Bloodfist 2050 (2005)

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Tagline:

To avenge his brother's death, Alex Danko must enter the erotic and deadly criminal underground of the near future where he finds the fight of his life!

Back of DVD:

In a brutal future Los Angeles, where the streets run red with the blood of fallen fighters, street fighter Alex Danko (five times world martial arts champion Matt Mullins) searches desperately to find his brother's killer. To find the truth, Alex must enter the vicious world of "THE PIT", an arena where extreme, and often lethal, martial arts are a way of life. Will Alex prove himself and learn the truth? Or will the pit claim yet another casualty?

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Movie Review:

The Direct to Video Connoisseur recently reviewed the first Bloodfist movie, a genre classic starring Don "The Dragon" Wilson. I picked up the whole series of eight movies for a total of $16 which was a bit of a bargain but I am yet to watch a single one of them. Recently I discovered when pilfering through bargain bins that there was a ninth movie made, Bloodfist 2050, that did not star Don but starred five-times world martial arts champion Matt Mullins and was somewhat of a remake of the first one.

The movie literally starts with a bang as we are thrown into the deep end of a battle between Mad Max type thugs and 2019: After the Fall of New York type thugs with tonnes of gunfire and explosions and a car chase of Matt Mullins trying to escape it all in his Interceptor rip off. I have no real idea why this sequence was tacked onto the front of a pit fighting movie but I think the producers are trying to remind us it's the post-apocalyptic future of 2050. Mullins hits his afterburner and the footage goes into double speed.

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Before the fights had even started I knew I was onto gold. I was also double checking the production year. 2005, really? This made-for-TV movie looks like it came out in 1987. I would usually go on about the video quality in a separate section, but I couldn't leave this till the end. Perhaps it was the old Filipino cameras that were used or some ancient film stock, but Bloodfist 2050 could easily be disguised as a prequel to the original movie from 1989. If it wasn't for a handful of bad CG renders of the cityscape and the techno playing in the nightclubs you wouldn't be able to tell. There is also quite a lot of stock footage used here but I won't ruin it for you; it's fun trying to pick the scenes out. I will say that not all of the titty-bar scenes were filmed for Bloodfist 2050. And I'm pretty sure the opening war is lifted from The New Gladiators or something else from the Concorde vaults.

Speaking of titty-bars (like that segway?) that's where we end up next. After a minor war outside a fighting ring between various gangs, we are introduced briefly to a fight underway between two combatants, one wearing running mascara and the other kickboxing his head in. After the fight the winner goes out to celebrate by watching one of the biggest pair of breasts I've seen on camera. It's all too much for the tired and inebriated fighter who goes outside for a slash. Out of the darkness a ninja attacks him and the guy dies, then a bum steals his jacket. Victory is fleeting.

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Matt Mullins arrives at the city gates and pays a blind man to watch his car (?), then goes to his brothers apartment. His brother is not there but his friends Randy and Nadia are and they tell Mullins that his brother Johnny is dead. If you hadn't worked it out, Mullins' brother is the guy who was killed by the ninja. Immediately he wants revenge and ends up in a five-way fight with one of the gangs in a factory. This is pretty sweet; kicking out windows, throwing barrels, spin kicks, cartwheels... Mullins' is very good at his martial art, like a modern Van Damme. Then Joe Sabatino turns up and shoots into the air, scaring the gang away. He tells Mullins that he looks like he needs a drink and takes him to, you guessed it, the titty bar.

Now this bit is fantastic. We are treated to a full strip show by the very hot Beverly Lynne (star of such classy movies as Bikini Royale II and Bikini Chain Gang) who incidentally is married to Glen Meadows, the guy that plays Randy, her brother in this movie. The strip is fine but what is fantastic about it is it's filmed with every single transition effect you can possibly imagine. I'm talking page rolls, star wipes, venetian blinds - all the good stuff you used to find on home video editing hardware from Tandy and Jaycar (or Radio Shack for our US readers). It's hilarious.

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Anyway, the fights! Mullins befriends Sabatino who turns out to be a cop and has connections that can get him into the ring. They go to watch the reigning champion fight, the Great Ahmed Khan (featuring the Great Drawn-on Tattoos), Filipino Monsour Del Rosario, also in Bloodfist II but as a different character. Speaking of same actor/different character, the ring announcer here is Joe Mari Avellana - Kwong in Bloodfist and Su in Bloodfist II! When announcing the rules of the match he notices two guys making an illegal side-bet. Obviously the house gets no money from this so Joe yells to them "No side bets!". He is ignored, so Joe shoots them with a flare gun. Baha!

The audio in this is pretty terrible, but simultaneously awesome. The dialog is muffled and when filmed indoors it has a bad echo to it. The fight sounds are great though with those fantastic chop-sockey fight sounds from 1970's kung-fu movies making up the majority of the fight sounds. When there's no fights we get dark synth soundtrack that is reminiscent of early 80's Doctor Who. Sometimes it's played so loud it makes it even harder to hear the dialogue. Top stuff.

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Mullins suspects Khan killed his brother and confronts him, to which he replies "Watch your ass.. it's gonna be mine!" Then Mullins and Sabatino go... that's right! To the strip club! This time the Beverly Lynne is covering herself in moisturising cream. Mullins' enjoys the show. That's it. Eventually Mullins' is called for his first fight against some huge guy called The Monster and positively smashes him with his kickboxing skills and even does some backflips. Then to the titty-bar. It's a great cycle, and eventually we get a softcore scene with Mullins and Beverly Lynne. I know some people might just be shouting "get on with the fights!" at their screens but I thought the excessive displays of the female form in Bloodfist 2050 were a great if highly amusing addition. And don't get me wrong, there are plenty of fights to be had.

Randy gets up for his fight against Khan but gets his arse handed to him and his neck broken. Medics perform CPR but I don't know what they hoped to achieve. You can't glue his neck back together with shock paddles. Ultimately the movie ends with a great fight in another factory setting between Mullins and his brother's killer.

Roger Corman produced all nine Bloodfist movies according to IMDB. He had even more staying power in this franchise than Don "The Dragon" Wilson. He is also reunited by the director of the first two Bloodfist's, Cirio H. Santiago. I think they did a fantastic job overall. This is such a fun fight movie that doesn't overstay it's welcome, clocking in at only 78 minutes. There is little pointless plot exposition; just the basic revenge theme, the fights and of course the tits. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what we are all here for.

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The Video:

Like I mentioned in the review, the video is pretty poor a lot of the time but that comes down to how it was filmed. The DVD is adequate though there is a lot of noise in some darker scenes. The sound is a mixed bag; the fights sound fine but the dialog was clearly recorded with a microphone attached to someones lapel. Runtime 78 minutes.

Sourced From:

Somewhere random for $2, which is the RRP! Best two bucks I ever spent.

Trailer:

Not quite a trailer but the closest I could find, a fight montage!

More Screens:

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7 comments:

  1. Looks like ridiculous fun! Will have to find a copy!

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  2. You're lucky you got this one so cheap, it's ridiuclously expensive over here in the states, i'm tlaking like 25 dollars or more!

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  3. I had initially stayed off this film, because it was a TV movie, but the Cirio H. Santiago direction, with him being a Hall of Famer, means I should probably do it eventually, and your review has piqued my interest. Also, thanks for the mention at the top, I appreciate it.

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  4. That's strange venom, I wonder why it's so expensive there. All the Bloodfists's are $2 RRP here; you can't even buy them at normal shops, you have to go to two-dollar bargain shops!

    Matt and Ty, make sure you do check this out, it's so worth it. I was very hesitant when I put it in the player but it was a resounding success, in my opinion anyway. I'd be eager to hear what you guys thought too.

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  5. I guess it didn't very good distribution in the U.S., anyways I was wondering if you could possibly review Road House 2: Last Call as that's one film that Matt refuses to review under any circumstances for some reason, so i'd definitely like to hear your take on that film.

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  6. As surprising as it may sound, I've not even seen the first Roadhouse. In my mind when I think Swayze I think Ghost, and that is a chicks flick. I haven't been able to get passed that yet...

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  7. Well i'm proud of the fact that i've never seen Ghost and never will for as long as I live and breathe(haven't seen Dirty Dancing either for that matter), anyways besides Road House, Swayze did plenty of other action roles in films like Uncommon Valor, Red Dawn, Point Break, Next Of Kin, Steel Dawn and Black Dog, so you really oughta do yourself a favor and check those films out as well as the Road House sequel.

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