Crooked aka Soft Target (2006)

Tagline:

Don't ever trust the law.

Movie Review:

Talking with a work colleague the other day I postulated that there are three tiers of action hero: A-level stars like Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham and Bruce Willis. B-level stars like Dolph Lundgren, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Wesley Snipes and Steve Austin. Sometimes A and B level stars mix - B-level stars may have had prolific A-level careers in the early days, and A-level stars may take a pay dive every so often to appear in something smaller. But then there are the C-level action stars who never really get above their stature, rarely invited to play with the big boys. I can't think of two actors that epitomise this more fully than Don "The Dragon" Wilson and Olivier Gruner. Perhaps we'll allow Billy Blanks to the party as well; bless him and his Tae Bo.

When I tell my friends what movies I watch on the weekend for this blog I usually get looks of puzzlement. This would definitely be one of those movies that would result in head scratching from anybody I tried to explain it to. Nobody in regular film-going circles knows who Don or Olivier are but I got real excited when I found that they were both in the same movie. Not only that, but stars from the past like Fred Williamson, Gary Busey and hell even Martin Kove were in this as well! That's solid direct-to-video action gold on paper... but in practice?

In short, not really. The basic plot of Crooked sees Fred Williamson in a glorified cameo role along with another detective protecting a snitch in a hotel. While the two play cards the snitch orders in some prostitutes (unusual for protective custody, but there you go). One of the girls freaks out and decides to wait in the bathroom while the other gets on with the job. That's when the cops are attacked by assailants known to the snitch and are killed. That's right Williamson is already out of the picture and we are ten minutes in. The snitch is killed after revealing he has money hidden in a locker but has lost the key. The girl waiting in the bathroom, Angel (Diana Kauffman) finds the key on the floor and makes a run for it.

Detectives Danny Tyler (Wilson) and Phil Yordan (Gruner) arrive on the scene and it's obvious the two don't get along. Gary Busey as Chief John Rouse, who spends the movie with crooked glasses and talking into his lapel.. actually maybe that's why the movie is called Crooked?.. thinks it's a great idea to pair this mis-matched couple of detectives up to find the missing Angel and protect her from the killers still on the loose. Martin Kove as Jake Lawlor spends the movie standing in hallways drinking coffee, until the final act when he finally picks up a weapon.

So you can see already it's a Don and Olivier vehicle and everyone else is just along for the ride. It could still work, right? Eh, sort of. The production values here are pretty bad; think early 2000's Seagal DTV movies as he was making his transition from silver screen to small screen. Bad lines, bad delivery, bad acting, bad shaky cameras, bad stock sound footage. The shaky cam was so bad at some points that the two cups of tea I had just had felt like coming back up again. IMDB says the budget was 2.5m. That's pretty low in this day and age and it shows, quite badly. At least a car gets blown up, that's a good use of the budget.

Danny, Phil and Angel stay on the move throughout the movie and whenever they stop they are eventually attacked. This leads Gary Busey to believe there is a leak among his team and he keeps a "close eye" on them. Martin Kove continues to stand in hallways. Olivier and Don try their best to be the new Dolph Lundgren and Brandon Lee in Showdown in Little Tokyo mis-matched buttoned-down cop and get's-the-job-done cop, but there is very little chemistry between them and the lines they are given to recite don't help. Phil in one scene tells Angel to her face that she is a "fucking whore" and in the next scene buys her lunch. This needed a better writer.

Enough of that crap, how's the action? Mediocre for the most, but Olivier and Don still bring the swinging high-kicks to the table which is good. Don brings his angry fight-face a few times which is outstanding and easily the best parts of the film. Some of the fights (there are a few) aren't too bad but again they suffer from being zoomed in too much with shaky cam and off putting generic punch, kick and firing sounds. The shootouts are quite average and at one point one of the thugs that attacks Don looks like a bum off the street, complete with beanie and grey beard. At least the picture from the cover with Olivier firing two pistols cross-arms actually occurs, which is more than can be said for most DTV action covers. There's a totally inappropriate dual sex scene that borders on soft-core between Phil and his wife and Danny and Angel. If you ever wanted to see Olivier Gruner in a foamy bath with a girl who has breasts the size of watermelons, Crooked is for you.

It sounds like I hated this movie; not so. I was entertained and didn't fall asleep. I just expected more from the cast but for that, in this case, I am blaming the crew and to a lesser extent the budget. Actors can only work with what they are given and what they are given here, for the most part, is bland and unfulfilling. Worth a rental or 99c pickup, but keep your expectations low.

The Video:

Nothing to write home about but a good enough widescreen picture on the R1 disc (under the title Crooked). The sound is fine except for the obvious budget issues that's caused by bad microphones. Runtime around 90 minutes.

Sourced From:

eBay for 99c.

Trailer:

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The Hit List (2011)

Tagline:

Who's on your list?

Movie Review:

This one came out of left field. One day it was just sitting on store shelves and available online to buy. Out here in Australia we don't always get DTV films on time. Cuba Gooding Jr.'s 2009 movie Wrong Turn at Tahoe only came out in the second half of 2010 for us. Dolph Lundgren's Direct Contact took 18 months longer than the US to come out domestically and at one point we were at least two Seagal movies behind the UK. With The Hit List, the US only got a month head start on us.

Allan Campbell (Cole Hauser) is having a real bad day. He's in deep with a loan shark who has already given him a black eye and he has one more day to pay his debt, which he can do when he gets his promotion at work. Unfortunately he is passed over by the new kid Brian Felzner (Sean Cook) who has brown-nosed his way to the top. Going home depressed, Allan is hit with a double whammy when he discovers his wife sleeping with his best friend Mike (Drew Waters). Realising his day is turning into an episode of The Bold and the Beautiful, Allan goes to a bar to get drunk. After a few too many straight Jack Daniels, Allan meets Jonas Arbor (Cuba Gooding Jr.), a sick man with a bad cough who doesn't sympathise with Allan's predicament but is instead brutally honest about how he arrived there. He then tells Allan that he is a contract killer.

Allan laughs it off but Jonas insists it's true, and asks Allan to write a list of five people he would like killed if it were possible in a scene that somewhat echoes Strangers on a Train or The Designated Victim. Playing along with the game, Allan fills the list with all the obvious candidates - his boss (for passing over the promotion), the new kid (for stealing the promotion), the loan shark (for the black eye), his best friend who slept with his wife... and at number one on the list his wife Sydney (Ginny Weirick) for cheating on him. The next day Allan goes to work with a bad hangover and learns from colleagues that his boss was murdered the night before. Allan freaks and tries to find number four on the list before anything happens to him... and then find his wife.

This was really, really good. Probably one of my favourite DTV films of recent times. I really enjoyed being able to know the plot early on. Some people complain that a story like this is too obvious; following a too generic formula. I tend to complain when a movie is too complex for its own good. You know from the time that Allan and Jonas meet that Jonas has five people to kill on his list and it's just a matter of time before he makes it to number one. This plot device is refreshing to me in a way, and as the production on the film was relatively high it made for an exciting ride to an inevitable conclusion. Instead of wondering what will happen next, you know what will happen, but are left to wonder just how it will be carried out.

Cuba Gooding Jr. really proves that at one time he was worth an Academy Award here. Jonas is cold-blooded, calculated and crazy, and a great example of what a man could do when he no longer has any fear left. It's also a superb demonstration of twisted loyalties. I think Jonas actually believes he is helping Allan, even saying after knowing him for two hours that he is the best friend Allan will ever have. I guess that's true to an extent; killing for a friend is a pretty big deal. But really, Jonas has just gone a little nuts and is taking his frustrations out on the world, justifying himself by making the kills serve a purpose in someone else's life.

I'm not familiar with Cole Hauser but he was good in this too. Apparently I've seen him before as I've seen Pitch Black, but not since it came out. He does a really good job playing the ultimate man down on his luck sad case applied to a guy that's too nice to get angry (even his wife says they don't fight with passion anymore) and tries to reason with Jonas before he kills again and again. Also worth mentioning is Detective Neil McKay (Jonathan LaPaglia), the officer who is trying to put together all the pieces of the case and work out if Allan is actually the killer.

The action is pretty solid throughout as well. Obviously people get killed on the journey to the primary target, but not always as straight forward as could be imagined. There's a pretty sweet car chase that sees a cop car explode and the ending scene is very reminiscent of The Terminator. Cuba Gooding Jr. is no martial artist so it's guns and cars here only folks.

I read a review that said The Hit List was a poor man's Collateral. Now I've not seen that movie (it is a Tom Cruise movie after all, an actor I've never liked - no, not even Top Gun) but I don't see why a $6 million dollar budget action movie has to be compared as 'poor man's' to a movie that cost $65 million. I mean yeah I get it, technically it is the poor man's alternative being one-tenth of the cost of the Hollywood blockbuster but to use the term in a negative light isn't really needed when the film, in my opinion, is actually really good. You can say that Bloodfist is the poor man's Bloodsport, but don't compare DTV action to Tom Freaking Cruise.

This is good fun and worth your time, definitely. I wasn't even annoyed by the cinematography as there weren't any jump-cuts or speed ups to my knowledge (just a couple of flash backs). One of Cuba Gooding's upcoming movies is alongside none other than action hero Dolph Lundgren in the explosively titled "One in the Chamber", by the same director as the Hit List William Kaufman. Can't wait to see how those two get along in a movie together!

The Video:

Just like most modern DTV action, sharp and clear HD sourced video and a thumping, explosive soundtrack. All good. Runtime approx. 90 minutes.

Sourced From:

Region 4 DVD bought in store.

Trailer:

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American Streetfighter (1992)

Tagline:

Some streets you don't double cross.

Movie Review:

I was pretty stoked to find this early Gary Daniels fight movie used at a local pawn shop. It has a frankly awesome cover which you can see above. I'd not heard of the movie but it comes a year after Capital Punishment (which I also picked up the same day) and a year before Full Impact. It was directed by Steven Austin who also did Expert Weapon aka American Dragon with Ian Jacklin and Sam J. Jones.

We start ten years ago when Jake Turner (Daniels) is a gang hoodlum working with a friend to blow up a bar whose owner is behind on his "rent". It all gets messy and Jake's partner is killed. Jake drives into the distance clearly over this kind of work. Cut to the 1992-present and Daniels is now a business man in Hong Kong with a ponytail and a suit. He receives a call from his somewhat estranged mother in the U.S. who says his brother Randy (Ian Jacklin; Death Match, Kickboxer 3, Ring of Fire 2) has gotten in with the wrong crowd as an underground kickboxer who fights dirty for cash and drugs. Randy flies home to convince him to stop but Randy wants to go right to the top and refuses. Jake wants to look out for his little brother so convinces tournament runner Ogawa that he will fight instead of his brother.

You're not as good as a Ninja Turtle!

You would think you could already work out how this movie will play out. Jake takes his brother's place in the ring of battle and progresses to the top in various tournament bouts ala Ring of Steel. Perhaps his girlfriend gets abducted along the way for collateral and in the end he kills the boss. I was as suprised as anyone to find out this was not the case with American Streetfighter... though plenty of the old action movie cliches are still there for our enjoyment.

I don't want to give too much away but there really is only one bout in the ring involving Jake and he gets his arse handed to him. This is when he finds out what happens to combatants that don't succeed; they get used as drug transport containers! Jake is getting prepped to begin a new life as a cadaver and have a bag of drugs stowed in his chest for transport to Colombia, but the anaesthetic wears off and he escapes, badly injured. He manages to get home to his mother's house but passes out, waking up at his old girlfriends place. She lives with her ten year old son Billy who helps Jake get back on his feet in a pretty amusing training montage.

Where the movie really shines is in the last 25 minutes (don't they all?). It get's pretty strange and shows off its Hong Kong pseudo-roots. While at home resting with Billy, a motorbike comes crashing through the wall and Jake gets into a fight with him. Then Jake seems to nick the bike and get chased by a car but also is followed by a biplane and by a helicopter with some guy taking pot shots at him with a rifle! It's pretty strange and Jake is presumed killed when he crashes the bike into the side of a car at a speed that should have killed him (but instead he gently rolls over the top of the hood).

I'm back in Vietnam.. and I show no mercy!

Daniels brings it, both early on with his Bon Jovi hair and cowboy jacket and later as the well dressed businessman trying to help his brother. He also has the balls to street fight in denim jeans, belt and keeps his shirt tucked in. That's a good effort when kickboxing I must say, keeping your shirt tucked in. If I had a go at that I'd end up with my shirt around my neck or something. Jacklin is pretty decent as the brother Randy and sports a Dave Mustaine look (very 80's hair-metal this movie) and is a competent fighter too.

The real fun is Gerald Okamura (a staple in bad action movies like Shootfighter, Deadly Bet, Showdown in Little Tokyo) as the bad guy Ogawa who both runs the tournaments and the drug smuggling ring. He speaks in riddles and haiku and is good with a samurai sword. The final battle between him and Daniels hilariously takes place in front of an open casket funeral! You've also got Kent Ducanon as "Grandpa" who smokes cigars, wears an eye-patch and who delivers the Vietnam line I highlighted above, and not much else!

This is a good one if you like Gary Daniels and are curious about his real early stuff, if you are okay with low budget Hong Kong style action complete with sometimes bad dubbing, chop-sockey sound effects and plots that veer on the point of ridiculousness. If you weren't into that kind of movie, why would you be at a blog called Explosive Action?

The Video:

This is another early Payless R4 DVD like Blood Hands and is about as good in quality; that being it's not. Clearly from VHS or at best a VHS master tape, the colours are both washed out and too bright, or at night too dark. Overall soft but watchable, though there are even digital encoding errors at times. Still the audio was good and the presentation wasn't nearly as distracting as Blood Hands, so pick it up if you ever see it used somewhere. Runtime 80 minutes.

Sourced From:

Picked it up at a used store for $3. I've never seen the disc around before so don't know how you'll go finding it, but ebay has a few R1 discs going for 99c.

Trailer:

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